Troubles

"Many are brought to faith by trouble".

I guess being in trouble or anticipating trouble will make one to re-evaluate their relationship and faith in God. Will God protect us and if not why? Is it a learning lesson that will teach us better next time?
We feel a need for a protection from someone that is greater than ourselves. God is a helping and forgiving God knowing that we are not perfect and if we have enough faith in Him, He will see us through the trouble.

The best thing about not knowing......

"On this day, God wants you to know
... that nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be. You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know."

So I guess this is one of the better things about worry and not knowing what is supposed to happen next. No wonder.........

Yes I am listening for you

I'm listening. The last few weeks have been
very interesting with my reconnection to God.
Some things are seeming clear but I like anyone
else is still very confused as to what is really
going on. God please talk to me please.

Jesus as our guest

"We don’t need to put our house in order before Jesus comes in; He puts it in order after we let Him in."
I think this is an interesting quote and easy to consider Jesus is in our lives. Jesus makes things correct.

Stay Focused!

Distraction is my biggest flaw. This evening
I decided that I would try to be more focused
in everything; God, life, everyday duties, etc.
It's going to take a lot of work and patience
but it will see its way into me.
STAY FOCUSED TANZ!

Great Quotes-Sr. Thea Bowman

"I think the difference between me and some people is that I'm content to do my little bit. Sometimes people think they have to do big things in order to make change. But if each one would light a candle we'd have a tremendous light"--Sr. Thea Bowman of the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration

Daily thanks

Thank you Lord for all those times when you were there for me and I took them for granted. Thank you Lord that I have been able to handle students loans that I can barely pay each month. Thank you Lord for having a decent home to live in, good food and clean water. Thank you that I am American and even though we have our own problems we still have it a bit better than some. Thank you Lord for the education that I have received so far and I pray that you can grant me the intelligence and wisdom to work in areas that I have struggled once I return to college. Thank you Lord that even though I am not in the best of health I can still do for myself--my senses function as they should and I can walk and speak. Thank you Lord for friends, family and strangers who care. Thank you Lord that I do care.

I'm Getting There

This is a new blog that I started in hopes of having a relationship with God.
At this point in my life I am still not sure if God is with me but now I am taking things slowly and want to start over. I know it's important that we have a relationship with God as He is the giver of life.
I chose to abandon a relationship with God because I felt that was what he wanted and at best. I want to come home. From what I can see now the relationship will not be the same as last time. I need to take things very slowly this time and not be in such a rush to be something I am not again. Of course I still have some trust issues and I want to let go. I have never been one for positive thinking or the great optimist but I will try to be normal about this friendship.
Prior to relocating to England the previous two years of my life were the absolute worst. As far as I am concerned God did not give a damn! Three hospitalisations for two mental breakdowns and a surgery that may have kept me from ever being able to have children. Where was God when all of this was going on? Was he with me? Am I still alive because of his loving saving grace or did he allow me to live as a slap in the face?
To me or my life has been one walless prison with one setback after another. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes but through most of mine I am yet to figure out what happened and why? Why did God allow me to fail so many times? Where were the successes?
If God knows my heart and wants me to be happy then when I seek something to bring that happiness why does he not assist? Yes I must be realistic! There are so many great things that I want out of life just like anyone else so why does that desire have to stop at me? Why can't I be a happily married wife and mother? What's wrong with me? I have no desires to hurt my husband or children like so many other women do. If marriage is a vocation why can I not be a part of that?
I will try to make this relationship with God work. I have gone on to other men the elast I could do is give the one who gave me life a chance.
I have been advised to give more thanks (is wasn't doing this before) and read the Bible more. This will be difficult and I did order a new Catholic Bible tonight. I will give it another go even though there is something I am not sure of with this book.